A jail without windows


Dear enemy,

I would like to watch you leave for ever from my life, but I have to live with you fighting every day, every moment, as a prisoner in a jail. Yes, you’re my jail. A jail plenty of darkness and lies and chains and locks. A jail without windows, without light from the outside world.

You put chains in my wrists and my legs so it’s very difficult to get up in the morning and say hello to a new day.

You are telling lies to me about the life all the time . You say life is a complete disaster for me and I am a complete disaster for life. That I don’t deserve anything from anyone. That I’m a burden for my loved ones. You are telling me to avoid the company of other people, be alone. I know there are all lies but I can’t help myself. You make me sad, so sad I can’t move out of sadness.

I have to gather a lot of strength to face each moment, each day and win battles against you to keep living. And sometimes I can’t. You win. Sometimes I manage to sneak out and see if there is some light out of your jail. Sometimes I think I’m learning to live with you, my enemy, my depression. But I know, the fall will come again, you will open the jail’s door to push me inside and I will not have the strength to resist until the next time I put out a fight against you, my everyday enemy.

Daily Prompt: Shape Up or Ship Out.

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Dear insecurity

Everything is going to be OK

Who’s in charge here???

Shape up or ship out, Mr Anger

There’s the door, now leave!

Dear depression

Author: Olga Brajnović

Journalist and writer. I've worked for 26 years in a newspaper in Spain. I worked for two years as a stringer and correspondent in the US and went as a special envoy to other places like the Balkans. Author of a biography. Sea lover. Avid reader. Classic Music enthusiast.

11 thoughts on “A jail without windows

  1. Iam Who Iam says:

    This is such an excellent (and VALUABLE) post. It expresses that which defies expression. I ask my friend, who I suspect lives in a jail like this, to describe it for me. I’m hoping that, through experiencing it myself (even if only through his description of it) I can somehow lessen its pain for him. But he can’t describe it. So I can’t experience it for or with him. But now, maybe I can at least catch enough of a glimpse to better understand what he’s going through. It won’t make the pain go away, but I doubt that it will make it any worse.

    1. Olga Brajnović says:

      Thank you for your comment. I’m glad my post can help. Never thought about that. You made my day.

  2. Iam Who Iam says:

    Reblogged this on Iam Who Iam and commented:
    I chose this post for my “Weekly Reblog” because it offers readers something beyond my own capacity as a blogger. It expresses that which defies expression. While failing to set the prisoner free, it offers an alternative to solitary confinement through awareness that there ARE other similarly incarcerated individuals. It offers those like me, who love these individuals, a better understanding of why they reject our attempts to push and prod and pull them out of their despair. It allows us to recognize that there will be times when the best we can do is squeeze our hand between the cold steel bars. Maybe the prisoner will take it, maybe not. Either way, he or she will know it’s there.

    1. Olga Brajnović says:

      I’m honored you nominated me for this award and you liked my post about A Jail Without Windows so much


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