A handful of sand

Is it easy for you to ask for help when you need it, or do you prefer to rely only on yourself? Why?

I really don’t care. I’m so tired I can’t think clearly. I would like to be alone , by myself. But it’s not possible: too much obligations. I only want to find a remote corner, hide on it and cry. But I have to compose myself and smile. When I finish writing this prompt I’ll go to wake up my ailing mom with a kiss in her forehead after her afternoon nap and try to appear happy and sure of myself. She needs me confident and healthy. I’m her joy, she told me once. I’m her daughter and also her nurse and her confidant. I support her, encourage her, try to find some amusements to her life tied to the wheelchair and the bed. Nobody can help me on this. So yes, I have to be a rock for her despite I feel as weak as a handful of sand. I look at me and I’m worried for those I love. I don’t want them to suffer because of my weakness. I have been there before and I don’t want to go back.

I Am a Rock.

Author: Olga Brajnović

Journalist and writer. I've worked for 26 years in a newspaper in Spain. I worked for two years as a stringer and correspondent in the US and went as a special envoy to other places like the Balkans. Author of a biography. Sea lover. Avid reader. Classic Music enthusiast.

6 thoughts on “A handful of sand

  1. alphabetstory says:

    Life can be as elusive as the sands we would try and hold in out hands. Elusive and then easily lost. Don’t lose yourself in all the trying to be a rock for someone. Rocks do crumble over time.

    Reply
    1. Olga Brajnović says:

      But I have to be there for my mom. She was always there for me when needed her

      Reply
      1. alphabetstory says:

        And you should. But caregivers do need to take care of themselves. Hopefully you can have time to restore yourself. That was my intent. God Bless.

        Reply
        1. Olga Brajnović says:

          I’ll try. I’m looking for help Thank you for your good wishes. and your advice

          Reply

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