I couldn’t say Goodbye

by | Oct 22, 2020 | Family, Love, Memories

My mom had a stroke and spent four years paralysed. I spent much time with her, trying to alleviate her suffering. It was exhausting and wonderful at the same time because we became very close to each other and complicit in many things.

She could move the right side of her body a little, and her mind was as bright as always.

She enjoyed reading and solving crosswords. I bought her a kindle to read her favourite books using only one finger to turn the pages.

We had deep conversations about life and her memories. There were challenging and marvelous years for both of us.

It’s funny how I remember enjoying her company, and I forgot all the tiredness and the difficulties of taking care of her.

She was brave and joyful. And in the moments of crisis, she always knew how to find the positive side of the situation.

So, when her health suddenly worsened, I felt lost. In three days, she was agonising. I had been at her side all those years, assisting her in everything she had needed. I wanted to help her also in the end. I was constantly by her bed.

I left her one moment with my sister while I went to the hospital’s cafeteria to eat something before spent the night with my mom. It didn’t pass five minutes when my niece came and told me:

-come now!

When I arrived at the room, mom had already passed away.

I couldn’t even say goodbye.

I stared at her in disbelief. I was desolate

It was the saddest day of my life.

FOWC: Alleviate


  1. Iain Kelly

    Touching memories, thanks for sharing.

    • Olga Brajnović

      Thanks. It is something deeply carved in my soul

    • Olga Brajnović

      thank you. I’m still feeling the emptiness.

  2. Mister Bump UK

    I have worked with stroke survivors. As you say, most of the time they remain bright as a button mentally. Those few minutes when you left the room might be sad for you, but she would have remembered the years of comfort that you gave.

    • Olga Brajnović

      Thank you. I hope so and I keep those memories like a treasure


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